Locks of Blagojevich

This post is a tribute to all of those messed up celebrities and politicians who could or possibly should, but probably not, donate their hair.

1. Blago-vago-play dough-which-tick-veech-something or other.

You look at him and you yern for all those 20 somethings suffering from male pattern baldness. If only they could share in his synthetic pleasures, they would be so fulfilled!

Not to mention you could hide the key to your safety deposit box under those luscious locks. A must for anyone getting paid under the table.




2. Britney Spears



Britney can donate because Britney is a giver. She really cares. Not only did she shave her head for no good reason. She helped the future failing economy by doing it herself. Also, in an act of selflessness, she decided not to donate her hair because it had been colored too many times and soaked in gin.

Currently she is re-growing for her next caring gesture. And also so she can cover herself up on the next nude magazine cover she shoots.


3. Richard Simmons

Finally, I believe many birds could be saved through the aid of Richard Simmons. In fact I think the World Wildlife Federation is going to push a bill to make Richards "Fro" a nationally recognized nature refuge.

The only problem...the birds would have to fly south for the winter once Richard started shooting his next "Sweatin' to the 80's" video. Their habitat would turn into a wetland by the time they heard Karma Chemeleon.