Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Dating in Fiscal 2011'

I've come to realize that we as a North American dating race are picky and desperate at the same time. It's really quite fantastic. I enjoy dating, and I think it's fun to meet new people. I also enjoy biscuits and gravy, rock concerts, and Diet Coke. But I guess I can't marry biscuits.

Anyhow, the Onion summed it up this week...

Black Liquid Bliss

A while back I wrote a post about pudding. This time I'd like to write a post about Diet Coke, or Coke Zero.

I've recently discovered Coke Zero and am currently on a 'high', but I was a bit disturbed as I looked at the can. The can is black. I personally think this might be a poor marketing choice. Why the black can? My relevant memory goes to the concept that they were marketing towards men because women were the primary drinkers of Diet Coke.

So black is manly? I don't see many men drinking other black drinks. OJ is usually orange, and beer is often the color of urine, or tree bark.

I thought a little more about this can. I thought about the chemicals I was consuming in my body. I began to associate the color of the can with the chemicals I was putting in my body. My body began to associate the chemicals with the color black. It was really kind of a euphorically intense thought process.

My final thought lead me to believe that if I drank Coke Zero I would become an unhealthy man.

...I still haven't finished this can.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Passive Aggressive

Adjective: Of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.

I would like to focus this post on the Passive Aggressive. Honestly, you people make me want to punch you in the solar plexus.  Not that I would ever actually determine the direct location of someones solar plexus and bunch them, but seriously, you really anger me.

Now I mean 'you' in a general and plural form. Passive aggressive behavior is not intelligent. You are not being 'patient' or 'kind' by being passive aggressive. You are wasting my TIME! What are some examples of passive aggressive you might ask?

Consider the following...

Blank stares without actually processing what the other person is saying, then immediately following their thought with your own two cents. Which turns out to be about $10 of conversation that is pointless.

Responding to an email and copying everyone and their mothers sisters daddies cousin.

That painful constipated expression you give when you know there is something that should be said but you do not want to say it.

Leaving sticky notes on food inside a fridge (literally happened to my friend)

Out doing someone in their job, leadership position, etc...even if it's not your place to be involved.

Now there are so many other ways in which people act out their passive aggressive tendencies. I just ask that you be honest, direct, and specific. Pull off the band-aid, for heavens sakes...my band-aid doesn't have care bears on it.