Saturday, December 11, 2010

Popular "Tweeps"

So I've recently taken a liking to Twitter. I think it's a great and novel Idea. It's true, no one gives a crap about anything past 140 characters. We don't have time for 150 characters. We just don't. There are other more important things we could be doing instead of reading 150+ characters. Things like doing the tutorials for your online banking, darning socks, calling your cousin from Jersey you knew would never amount to anything, purchasing something from the home shopping network, pondering other careers for The Rock, joining internet dating sites, and watching Bernie Sanders talk for 8 and a half hours. All of those things take priority over 150 characters.

Unfortunately, there are some people who think they're too good to respond to someone's 140 characters. Now I'm not talking about the verified celebrities we follow in order to get their daily nuggets of wisdom. I'm talking about local celebrities, or businesses that don't respond to you when you clearly tweet AT them. When you even use the "@" symbol and their Twitter name.

Let me inform you crazy narcissistic fools, you are not too good for any TWEEP! You just aren't. You must respond. That is the point of Twitter. For people who don't know each other to talk freely and about utter nonsense with one another without feeling as though they will be judged for their thought of less than 141 characters.

As I said before, the worst ones are the ones that aren't even famous. Typically the one's that don't respond don't want to hurt their image, but they don't have an image at all. They think that heaven forbid they respond to this Tweep that the Tweep might actually think that they're formulating a relationship. Nope, wrong, they're probably mentioning you in their tweet because they think you're somewhat ignorant and they want the world to know. For which case you should probably respond otherwise you look like a jerk bag. That's right, I said jerk bag. And now, I will coin that phrase and put it on Twitter.

So don't be a jerk bag. Respond to me when I @ you on Twitter. Because when I'm famous, you'll want to follow me, you'll want to @ me, and I won't sink to your level, because I know now that I am better than you and your generic background and 17 friends.

1 comment:

Ajax's Whimsical Revolution said...

Next time will you preface this post with a "how-to" guide for Twitter? I didn't understand some of the jargon or ethical conduct questions you used. I don't know Twitter and it don't know me. I'm fine with that. I use text messages to my friend Markus when I need validation that I am witty or intelligent. It works quickly and safely. I also agree with your satirical observations of the 140 character count limit. Or is it word count limit? I already forgot, probably because you are correct and I've already typed more than that cut off. What a failure, I'll go back to watching Bernie on C-SPAN.