Ignorance Isn't Bliss

With age comes wisdom

BLAH BLAH BLAH

I'm going to take this concept a step back, and SCREAM at college students for just a moment. Are you about to go to college? Are you currently in college? Well you better know what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Bruins-Sticks you're doing there.

No, this post isn't about hockey, or the best teams in the NHL. It is about gaining enough knowledge for yourself in order to prevent you from working at Burger King as a "Shift Supervisor" and thinking you've gained some kind of status.

Today I finished two marketing pieces for my job. The work involved in creating these required me to design, proofread, draft, email, research, and understand the initial request given me. NEWSFLASH---this just in---I didn't major in advertising or graphic design in college. Nope, broadcasting.

But here's the glimmer of hope...I knew in college that I was going to need more than just the skills required to film a news story. So I took an advertising class, and thank heavens...also a course in graphic design. You bet your little orphan Annies bottom dollar it paid off.

You feel stupid? I'm not done. There are still millions of people out there who swear on their mothers grave they won't get Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and for some...a cell phone. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? It's like free marketing for yourself! I've been offered jobs more than once via Facebook and LinkedIn. In fact, I didn't even need to submit a paper resume for one employer, he just wanted to see my LinkedIn profile.

So I want you to go sit in the corner and think about what you've done, or haven't done. Oh and one other thing, the next time you ask me a stupid question I'm going to tell you to use Google.

Lady Men

I'm a bit concerned as of late the state of men in society. Namely, where are they? Ouch Christal, that's harsh!

...too bad Mr.! I've noticed that society is now producing what I like to call "Fem-e-Men" or FEM for short. What are FEMs? Pretty much any dude who has lost the will to act like a man. And who do I blame for FEMs?

Women.

Yes, that's right, you thought you would get some kind of feminine kick out of reading this post didn't you? Well it's your fault that men act like women. We've dumped so much of our lady chemicals all over society that it's ruining MAN-kind. We even created a new chemical called "testrigyn"...yea, I made that up too.

So what is a FEM? Simply put, any man that's put aside most traditional values to live a life devoid of women, power, and esteem. Do I want to see more pride soaked Donald Trumps in the world? Heavens no! But something has to be done about these sissy men.

So how do you break free of being a FEM?

1. Don't be afraid to ask women out, all kinds of women, and yes...if you can, pay for dinner! Otherwise be creative and do something cheap but fun.

2. Stop thinking you're a loser. No man is a loser. No one is a loser period. But men can easily break free of loserdom by just thinking they're not one. Esteem is hott.

3. For the love of all that is good in the world...get a job! So you want to be an artist? Do it on the side. Sorry buddy, but men need jobs. And one job leads to a better job, etc.

4. When a lady enters the room, offer her your chair. Don't sit on the couch like the lazy FEM you are and make her feel worthless because she has to squat on the ground like a dude.

5. Finally, don't wear women's pants. Just don't. Only on special occasions like concerts? Nope, not even then.

Ladies, you won't know you're surrounded by FEMs until you meet some good men. When you do, this post will really enlighten you! But I ask that you stop treating men like your equals to the point that they're afraid to speak to you.  

Things I've Learned...

So I'm about to start yet another new job. As I was driving back from replacing the recalled steering column in my Cobalt I was thinking about the things I wish I knew beforehand, and the things I've learned from my jobs, education, parents, strangers with money.

So here are some things I've learned from the places I've been and such.

Working in Fast Food

People will treat you like the gum on the bottom of their shoes when they are ordering. It doesn't matter, you will get out of that job eventually. Also, these jobs can pay more than office jobs. So, potentially it's your pride or your wallet which are the key factors.

Also, don't offer a Muslim a beef taco...it doesn't go over well.

Putting Together Concerts & Events in College

"The hardest thing you'll have to deal with as a leader isn't the job itself, it's the people." -Kris Powell

This is true, and people in bands can be snobs...but don't forget, they're talented, and often worked very hard to master this talent.

Working for a Printer Company

Don't pick up a box of toner and hold it over your new tan khakis. The toner could potential spill onto your clothing.

There is politics in ALL business, and business in ALL politics.

I can't keep food at my desk or I will eat it.

Don't ever think you don't have potential and don't let others dictate how you should feel. It's good to have evidence for your actions, but don't dwell on past experiences.

Charitable work is important and can make you feel good.

There are great people among you.

Working in TV News

Anchors are people who work jobs. Being in the entertainment industry is still work. It can be very stressful and for many it doesn't pay crap. Have some respect for these people, but don't fear them. They're just like you. The only difference is they don't break into hives when speaking in front of people.  

TV journalists work harder than print journalists (if they're good reporters). Sorry, it's true. Not only do they have to write the story...they have to film it, edit it, voice it, and look good doing it. They sacrifice their personal liberty far beyond any print journalist could.

Look where you're going with auto cameras or you may almost injure the 1st female governor of your state.


Teaching Religious Classes

People cling to basic concepts. Doctrine deep individuals you need  pay no mind to if they're simply flaunting their intelligence. Heck, pay no mind to anyone who flaunts their intelligence. That's called pride...and pride is stupid.

Working with Youth

They're mini adults, they listen and see your example. They're not yet old enough to make strong decisions but have strong opinions. They will absorb your ideals as a parent or a mentor so proceed with caution.

Having a Mentally Ill Mother

Don't judge people with disabilities. If you do, you are a douche. Some things are beyond our control, love can conquer even the worst circumstances.

Friends

Enjoy experiences, be kind, be giving, remember birthdays, send cards, don't share your drinks unless you want to get sick, always ask their opinion when shopping for shoes, their habits don't have to be your habits, send letters, travel to see them, don't judge them ever.

Image of our Nation

After the announcement that Osama Bin Ladin had been captured and killed. NYC

Okay, my blog posts are usually upbeat with a snarky twist. This one probably will be too...but I have to write about our current events. And the photo in this post. I stole this photo from www.cnn.com. It was given to them by Getty Images to be exact.

I want to pose a question with this photo: how many soldiers do you know that dress like this in their uniform? Isn't it a requirement that you be clean shaven in order to wear your camouflage/ACU?

Taking the issue even further. Did this kid realize he was representing his country when he put on this garment? I think perhaps he did. So I guess we're all hippies. I suppose I'm a bit extreme in my feelings about this photograph but it's unsettling, and I doubt I'm the only individual who feels this way. If the men at my private college had to trim their sideburns to take a test...this dude needs a hair cut.

Horn

I like to use the horn when I drive. I see no problem with it. I guess in Vermont the horn isn't used quite as much as other states. Why not? It's a vary valuable tool! Take for example the "tools" that roam around Burlington.

I take particular joy in scaring the pee out of a drunken college student trying to jay walk on Main St. (busy street) at night. Especially the ones dressed all in the black so you don't see them until they're in sight of your headlights.

Some say I'm rude, but I think I'm teaching them a lesson. When you walk when you're not supposed to, or cut me off, you should be reprimanded. Because you remember it. And if you remember it, you're likely to NOT make the same mistake again. Unless of course you're an idiot. The type of person who takes great pleasure in watching your recorded VHS tape of the cops chasing OJ's Ford Bronco over and over again. In that case I should probably just run you over.

Cupcakes

Cupcakes by Terri Wimble/Photo by Christal Collette

I will not lie when I say I have no self control over cupcakes. Who invented this joy in a paper wrapper? Actually you can click here to find out.

Anyhow, a co-workers wife has decided she wants to open a cupcake shop. Good for her! BAD for me. These delightful little creatures have showed up near my desk 3 TIMES in the past month or so. And they're amazing. She's made cherry, strawberry, mint, and today chocolate. 

So this is my call to cupcakes! If you're having a rough day, long week, horrible existence...try a cupcake! It's certain to brighten your spirits, and increase your sugar levels.

HAPPY MONDAY! 

Secret Lives

 

I think everyone more or less has some kind of secret life. With the advent of technology this is made pretty simple. It used to be that there were pen names. These were names that writers used to protect their identity. Oftentimes when they realized they could actually make a living they revealed their pen names.

My pen name would probably be Frisky McGriddles. Look for it on shelves in 2013...

So why the need for "secret identities"?

Simple. We are ALL weird. Every single last one of us. We all do weird things. Some people do more apparent weird things than others. I have to unplug many things before I leave the house. It's just something I do. Am I afraid of fire? Well yeah. But not all weird things stem from fears. Some people really really like the smell of goats, or making origami, or reading vampire fiction.

What are some of the weirdest things I've noticed about people? Most recently I found a photo on FB of someone posed behind a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. But then I found it endearing. She likes George W. Bush enough to inform others...this is my cause that I am "literally" standing behind.

Granted, I'm not necessarily an aficionado of Mr. G-Dub-yah, but I respect what makes her happy. So I say embrace the weird in people. When they make strange comments...you can laugh, but laugh with joy. And remember, you ARE weird, dysfunctional, and somewhat awkward.

LOVE,

Frisky McGriddles