Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Muffin Tops, Moms, and Migratory Birds
I haven't been posting very often. I will explain why by using the three topics in the title of this blog.
I've been working quite a bit. I like my job. I believe the best part of my job is people watching. Since I work in a mall food court I get to see all types of individuals. My favorites are the muffin tops.
Muffin tops are girls with muffin tops that seem to have no understanding of the way in which their bakers dozen is falling over their waist. I'm sorry if this is too graphic for you. It's too graphic for me to watch on a daily basis.
Now please don't be offended by my comments. I have topped the muffin too. I just conceal it in a humane way. Not only do they wear these muffin tops in all glory but they adorn them with neon green lettering on their shirts. Sometimes they add a bit of tacky necklaces to enhance the already obvious belly button region.
As these muffin tops walk they seem to sway in a very forward and aggressive fashion. I can almost hear what they're thinking. "I look so good in these jeans. It looks like I've lost 10 pounds. I bet that guy working at Subway thinks I'm hott! He probably does because I am. And this shirt is so cute."
I also haven't been writing much because my computer is at home and I have been avoiding home. It's not a bad place I'm just a private person. Mothers have a way of asking a simple question such as "how's the weather outside?" and expecting an answer such as "Great. I think I need to reevaluate my life goals. Could you help me mom? Also, could you tell me who to date? Where to live? And what to think?".
Since the mom situation is on the ups I am realizing that I must be an adult now and move out of my parents house. I am looking for an apt with my friend. I am migrating out of the ghetto.
I've often thought that migratory birds are the most intelligent species on the planet. Why haven't we realized that it's not fun to live in freezing weather. That possibly if we're uncomfortable with a situation that maybe we should leave? I bet the birds had a great laugh at cavemen.
Sally Bird: "Did you see him cowering in that cave? That's so dawning of evolution. Let's keep it B.C. and fly south"
Fonsie Bird: "All riiight. I'm in!"
Posted by Chris"TAL" at 10:36 PM