Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Stupid Is As Smoker Does

The title of this post is not from a sequel to Forrest Gump. Sorry, I hate to get your hopes up.

Today I decided I was going to be healthy and get a salad for dinner at the supermarket. When I got to the checkout lane I was behind two women. I shall describe them to you so you can get the picture of this situation in your mind.

Lady one, we'll call her Sally.

Sally was wearing a tight black skirt, black nylons, white hooped earrings, and a haircut from the 1980's. She was well put together but you could tell she possibly had had too many evenings down at the bar singing karaoke.

Lady two, we'll call her Tammy.

Tammy was wearing some jeans hiked up to her belly button. Sneakers with no socks. A baseball cap with jean material and a beige rim, glasses, and a striped blue and white quarter sleeve shirt. Her midriff decided the shirt was unnecessary. Underneath the dollar store baseball cap she had wispy gray hair that seemingly hadn't been brushed or washed for a day or so. Tammy's voice was somewhat corse.


Tammy is at the end of the line checking out. She has just bought a carton of cigarettes. Tammy looks towards Sally after the cigarettes are rung in and says "they say cigarettes make you stupid....". But she DIDN'T finish her sentence. She just turned back around and slid her credit/debit card.

Sally looked at me with that bewildered look. A look that said, boy I thought I had it bad in 1980.

My reaction was to place this moment in my mind to later write about it.

Then it got better....

Tammy's card didn't work. The portly young teenager that looks like the son on Family Guy couldn't read her card. A manager had to come over and "authorize". However, it turns out that Tammy had told portly cashier boy that she was running an EBT card instead of her credit/debit card. If you're unaware, an EBT card is what is given to you when you're using funds from welfare and other government assistance programs.

Well, ultimately everything was figured out. Tammy "the intellectual" got her CARTON of cigarettes. Sally got her whole rotisserie chicken, and box of wine. And I got the pleasure of witnessing the humor of simply daily moments in society.

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