Easy Sociality

I used to be shy. Really, utterly, shy. I was afraid of what people would think of me. I wanted to be cool. I wanted to be accepted by some kind of social subset group of people that would wear neon bracelets and get backstage at MTV, or play lacrosse.

Then, at some point in college, I realized it didn't matter what you wanted to become. No one cares about what you want to become. They only care about who you are. Furthermore, once I stopped caring about how many friends I had, wanted, or needed...I flourished.

I love people. I love hearing their stories. I see the value in everyone. Perhaps that is how I went from having nothing to do on the weekends to literally always enjoying a new adventure with a new amigo. I stopped wishing my freckles would melt into a tan and started asking people questions about their lives. Occasionally I would toss in a witty joke or two. Finally, the stone to the soup of friendship...loyalty. Once you're my friend you will always be my friend unless you do something hedonistic to truly offend me.

Now don't get me wrong. This is not to say that I can be friends with everyone. I tend to steer clear of flakes (even though sometimes I fall into that category), and drug addicts. But for the most part I like you. I want to know about you. And if you meet me, my beginning remarks might even be the simple question: what's your story?

Night Hours

The post below was originally written at night at a bus stop in Denver, CO in September 2009...



I am a night person. I workout at night. I hangout at night. I do most of my eating at night. I would venture to say that if I believed in reincarnation I was most likely a bat. Except I would've smelt much better.

I certainly think we are a night generation. Movies are held at night. There are nightclubs. And mothers say "night night" to their children. You never hear them say "morning morning". They must say night twice because it's more important.

Life Gives You Limes

It's been a while since I've posted about my life on here. Mostly because I was busy living it. If you're reading this then chances are you're doing either one of two things in your life...

1. Living it.

2. Eating snacks, watching re-runs of Saved by the Bell, and skimming my blog.

Either way, I'd like to touch upon a cool principle I stumbled across while trying to tread the waters of my life since I graduated college.

MAKE A GOAL

What's a goal? It's that net that Ghana scored in twice to win the World Cup, right? ...wrong. It's something you need to do in order to showcase your true abilities to yourself. And man, I have sure showcased. A year ago I was working about 40 hours a week in fast food. I had no car and I lived with my parents. I was overweight, underpaid, and frankly all my friends were out west and I was lonely. A reminder, that was one year ago. Over the course of the last year I worked my way up to a promotion at said job. Realized I didn't want to run a restaurant and found a fantastic desk job that I enjoy. I also got a part-time gig doing what I love which is television. Additionally, I lost 50 pounds and bought a shiny red car that I'm afraid to drive for fear that some redneck with spill their Budwiser on it.

You see, achieving your goals isn't rocket science. It's not even physical science, earth science, or any other science you didn't want to take in High School. It's just a mixture of faith, planning, and good hard work. I personally believe that the God I believe in had a very big impact. However, God doesn't help those who don't help themselves...unless of course they're helpless. So I ask that you discontinue your discourse of whining and get out there and work towards what you want. Then, when all is said and done, make sure you're very grateful for the accomplishments you've received.

And don't forget. We don't all want the same thing. So don't assume that Joe Bob on Sycamore Ave. took the last good job, car, house, or soulmate in the area. You still have a fighting chance, without even fighting.

Cash Money

All right youngsters. It's time to pay attention to your finances. But it isn't easy is it? It's so much easier to ignore the fact that you incurred debt.

Until...

Joe Bill-Collector finds you. And good ole' Joe won't back down. But how did you get yourself in this predicament? I'll tell you some sure fire ways to avoid Joe calling you at your work and threatening to kidnap your first born if you don't pay your credit card bill.

1. Don't get in debt. Just don't. Unless it's for something useful. What's a useful debt?

-Reasonable/useful automobile (not that new Audi you want)
-A house
-A college education

But be careful...there are traps in these debts mentioned above. Truly think about whether you can afford a car payment. Also, don't incur extra student debt unless you're planning on using if after college as a low interest loan to pay for a home. In which case, you probably don't want to tell your loan counselor that you really don't need $20,000 for college but only $2,000.

2. Stop eating fast food. It's SUCH a waste of money. And I'm of course a hypocrite on this subject. I signed up for a mint.com account and realized that in the month of May alone I spent $122.00 on fast food. That's ridiculous!

3. Avoid ATM Fees. I've also accrued $33.00 in those fees in the past five months.

4. Invest, but invest smart. I haven't yet walked down this path but I will soon enough. It's good to have a little money in the market and know how it works.

5. Finally, don't ignore what is going on with your finances. Don't intentionally not pay a bill. Work with the company to figure something out so you can INCREASE YOUR CREDIT!

I repeat...DON'T IGNORE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR FINANCES!

Visit for some good ideas on how to manage your finances and see trends in your spending.

Good luck!

Caffeine

Okay. This is probably going to be the post I'm most proud of. I've successfully quit drinking caffeinated soda. I was addicted to Diet Coke. If you look back you will even see a post in which I talk about how caffeine is taking over society and how I can't live without Diet Coke.

It was true. My morning would start with a 32oz Diet Pepsi. If it was a really long day I would reach for a "Venom" which is a low carb energy drink. Energy drinks are also extremely bad for you. I would/have used these drinks to get me through all nighters in college and 60+ hour work weeks.

What have I learned since I quit the habit? One...it's a habit for sure. Two, you don't know how your body actually feels if you're sedated with caffeine. One of the active ingredients in Exedrin is caffeine. It helps in lessening the amount of pain you feel because it spikes your energy levels. Beyond that, diet drinks can also mess with your metabolism and make you feel more hungry than you really are.

Regardless of all the articles and voicing of Oprah, I feel better. But please don't do it cold turkey. You will have the most unimaginable headache in your life if you just simply quit caffeine. Ween your way off of it. Drink more water and eat more vegetables to outweigh the affects of a caffeine free lifestyle.

Good luck!

Zombie City

Have you walked by someone laying dead in the street today? Probably not. But there were more than a handful that did. If you haven't heard this story in the news then please visit this link...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36788569/ns/us_news-life/

I must say I am truly disturbed by this sad story. Now, I'm sure so many who hear this story are also upset, think it's wrong, wish they could've helped, etc...

But why did it happen? Anderson Cooper 360 claims that people didn't want to help because they didn't want to be the only one to help. That they would possibly stand out if they helped. I believe that's very possible. However, in my opinion, it's much deeper than "bystander syndrome".

I lived in New York City. It's a beautiful place. It's rich in culture, art, music, great food, architecture, and many other fabulous tourist worthy attributes. However, the people that live there permanently aren't the best thing about The Big Apple. Now if you're reading this and you're from NYC, I apologize. And perhaps I'm talking about those that have transplanted to the city. Anyhow, what I noticed while living there is that people aren't personable there. You don't look at other people on the subway. You don't hold doors for people. You don't ever have a public conversation with anyone who is a stranger. Typically you're there to excel at some career. Because you're driven enough to move to NYC you might tend to be a bit selfish and possibly cold.

I am not a cold person, but NYC didn't make me more outgoing. If anything I left more introspective and quiet. I feel that because of this self absorbed, self driven, fiercely introspective attitude...people don't pay attention to one another. Yes, they donate to good causes. They get out there and run the NYC marathon so they can raise money for charity. But do they ever look into the eyes of someone they don't know and ask if they can help them with anything? Do they ever help the young man who has dropped his groceries in the grimy puddle on 14th Street? Do they call the police when a man lay dying?

Probably not.

Salad Boy

If you're single then chances are you've used nicknames. No, I'm not talking about the whimsical names you give your friends you've known for years. Not names like "bop it" because at your 16th birthday party your best friend walked into a tree. The names I'm talking about are nicknames you give those crushes that you hope will work out, but often never do.

Some of the names I've had in the past include "sweater boy", "piano man", "bouncer", "sports guy", and most recently "salad boy". Why do we use these nicknames? Usually because unless your crush has a defining characteristic, your friends don't care enough to keep the men you talk about inside their already cluttered mind. Heck, they have their own romances to be worrying about. So...we nickname them.

But what, might you ask, is the story behind "salad boy"? Why call him that? Because..."salad boy" represents a growing trend among men. A sad trend. And the by product of a lost art. This lost art is chivalry. The reason this man is called "salad boy" is because he went on a (non defined but quite obvious) double date with me and my roommate and her boyfriend and he didn't pay for my $7.00 salad.

Whoa. Don't freak out now. It's not that I can't afford a $7.00 salad. In fact, I can afford a few salads. I try to budget my money quite well. It's "salad boy" saying things like "man, your salad was $7.00" that really burns my butter. Then hitting on me and expecting that I will reciprocate the feeling when you don't want to show you care enough to purchase a cheap, and very tasteless, salad.

To end the fantastic evening, "salad boy" doesn't walk me to my car. So, I put "salad boy" aside. Why? Why not give salad boy a chance? Because women deserve better. Women should NOT let men get away with treating them poorly. Men need to man up and learn how to be the men they use to be.

How? Open doors. Ask women on real dates instead of "hanging out". Ask women out the beginning of the week for a date that is later in the week. Send them a thoughtful message once and a while. Don't argue over petty things. Pay for things (but don't expect to pay for everything all the time. If a woman bleeds you dry then don't date her. Good women will offer to pay). But also know that good women will NEVER offer to pay on the 1st date. That means they're either pushovers, too "strong" of a woman, or don't like you romantically.